No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
John C. Reilly is so keen to play the role of Nathan Detroit in the remake of the 1955 movie musical ‘Guys and Dolls’ that he is ready to use physical violence if anyone tries to steal it from him. British filmmaker Guy Ritchie is trying to get the rights to make the film again and pop-star turned actor Justin Timberlake should be worried as the director had him slated for the iconic role that was played by Frank Sinatra in the original.
Here’s a good cause. How about we throw a telethon to raise money to pay Guy Ritchie not to remake Guys and Dolls? How much money would it take to appease the ego of one who believes himself capable of improving on this classic? My guess - 13 million.
Why we’re at it, how about we keep going and raise enough money to pay him to never make a movie again? The Guy Ritchie Retirement Fund; has entertainment ever known a worthier cause?
But here the math gets complicated. If he gets in the range of ten million a film, he shouldn’t charge more than 13 million NOT to direct a film, provided he’s an honest negotiator. But Mr. Madonna is still a young man; how many films will we have to pay him not to direct to take him off the market permanently?
And as in the Marx Brothers routine, can we even begin to afford to pay him not to rehearse?